Updated: Aug 21, 2019
A real, raw and personal expose of the inauthentic feminine that lives within our collective unconscious. The other side of my "MeToo" story.
In the late spring of 2018 I carved out an energetic circle on top of a mountain called Little Africa and spent four days there praying, meditating and fasting without leaving its sacred field. As I connected with Gaia’s magnetic pulse and devoted my faith to returning to my heavenly condition, I was deeply nourished and also extremely challenged. One of my greatest challenges I experienced was feeling rage and heartbreak for the ways I was recently disrespected and taken advantage of by the Dark Feminine and the Spirit I have come to know as ‘Jezebel’.
In the recent exposure of “The New Predator” published through Medium, the author used my testimonial after I had requested for my pseudo name/energy to be removed from the article. I had received a wave of Grace that guided me to pull back the previous Easter weekend and although I knew it was necessary to expose the truth, I felt a tone underneath this revealing that I did not stand behind and felt that it was not in full alignment with my heart’s values or intent.
As I felt this betrayal, deep rage and roaring anger grew louder inside me. I tried my best to consciously breathe it through my solar plexus and out through my heart chakra. It was through this heart-wrenching process that I then came face to face with the manipulative Dark Goddess herself. Her long snake-like tongue trying to allure me deep into her aggressive, resilient and seductive grasp. It was extremely uncomfortable and challenging to the core. Over time, I began to understand that I had to take greater responsibility for myself. That in truth, I was coming face to face with my own dark shadow and that my rage was not to be directed towards the woman who published this article, but the entirety of the Dark Feminine Spirit herself. The devious dark Goddess who has reigned power and dominance over my life and many others too. I understood that I could no longer act out of rage and fuel this destructive fire, but that I had to transmute this Spirit and own her fully within myself. I acknowledged that since she had shown up so fully outside of me, that she was finally ready to be exposed and integrated in a much greater way.
I have been looking deep into the eye’s of the unconscious feminine soul, witnessing, feeling, owning and embracing my own reflections. I’ve been working diligently to unearth and bring awareness to the ways she has contributed to the patriarchal web that has been keeping humanity in separation for centuries. Through my process, I have come to understand the Dark Feminine spirit as the sly, Maleficent hit woman of the patriarchal False God’s. The Dark Queen who has enabled the misuse of power to continue cycling throughout the ages, hijacking the true feminine soul and using it to her advantage.
“She is a compilation of humanities most ancient wounds of separation manifested into one spirit”- Kassandra Angus
I have now felt it in my heart to bring balance to this global movement by speaking to the other side of the story. The other perspective of “Me too” that not many have addressed. This is the time of the great apocalypse, the great exposure on our planet, and it is time that SHE is exposed now and purified by the light of truth too.
This is my personal discovery and vulnerable exposure of the Dark Goddess and the Jezebel Spirit that I have come to know. Thank you for witnessing me as I reveal my learnings and surrender my soul's swords humbly before you...
Her story starts in this lifetime when I was a young girl. My family was torn in separation and all I wanted to do was escape the pain. I was lost, confused, broken and I wanted to free myself from my parent's hostility and hate toward one other. I needed to find refuge. I began searching for something to make me feel whole again. I started searching for the love I never received from their lack of presence and I ended up falling into the arms of the Dark side and it’s disguised false love. I remember having dreams that hypnotized me, making me believe that if I projected my sexual energy outwards towards men that I would finally receive the care and attention that I was longing for. I discovered that seduction and manipulation were the ways I could gain security in my life. I began revealing more of myself in the ways I dressed and found out how quickly I could become the center of attention. In no time I became seduced by the queen of deceit herself. As she played through me, I could easily wrap men around my fingers.
Acting out my playful sensuality and open-hearted, flirtatious spirit I could receive what I wanted from them. I went out to nightclubs before I was legal age and slept with different men often. It made me feel special receiving the attention. It felt like all I had to do was offer myself sexually and they would take care of me, buying me gifts, drinks and treating me to life’s luxuries. I manipulated them so subtly by provoking lust and fantasy through my provocative body language. I knew what they wanted and I used my sexual power to make sure I received what I needed too. It was the perfect unconscious exchange and I was finally feeling loved and appreciated. It didn't take long before this high wore off though. Eventually, I hit rock bottom and was taken advantage of and raped. The sexual games I was playing finally caught up to me. I was attracting the attention I wanted, but now my own predator and manipulative qualities began manifesting outside of myself. I knew I had to come clean and I began seeking the support and guidance I needed to heal my sexual wounds and addictions. I found an intuitive coach and began to embark on the first steps of my healing journey. I spent years diving into my own healing and learning how to love and care for myself. As I reached sobriety and felt stronger within, my coach suggested that I learn how to support and guide others through my own intuition. Because I looked up to her so much, I felt others would look up to me in the same way. This made me feel superior and it wasn’t long before my Jezebel spirit started to seduce me back into her dark unconscious web. This time she showed up very secretively, hidden through the New Age movement as a facade of light.
In a very short period of time, I became a sexual empowerment coach and was working my way up in the status quo as a leader in the tantric community. My pride was growing as more people began to follow me and see the life I was living. I became completely immersed in the online marketing world and was working my way to making thousands of dollars a month. I was being seen and making a difference in the world and this fueled my spiritual ego and gave me a sense of purpose. I was blind to see how lost in power, greed and vanity I had become. I saw so many people buying new cars, homes, retreat centers ect. and I desired to make more money so I could create my dream life too. I fell into the trap of materialism and allowed my narcissism to pave the way to my success. This continued to persuade me into manifesting more clients and becoming more tactful with my words.
I allured women into my programs by using the right methods. I cast spells with my words and took other’s ideas, twisting them to sound like my own. I took codes from other’s work and used it for my own gain. I put on a facade because I wanted to receive approval, validation and acceptance from others. I was placed on a pedestal of fame and sexual empowerment and I was gaining power from the black magic I was teaching. I performed sex magic rituals to manifest more clients and greater publicity. I wanted to be seen as a “Priestess” and knew how to inspire other women to do the same. I thought I was doing a good thing but I was actually manipulating and seducing women into a trap, teaching them how to use their own power through sex magic to move up in the materialistic matrix. I was still prostituting myself and using my sexual energy to serve the dark side and it was all glossed over with love, light and feminine liberation.
As I evolved on my journey, I began seeking deeper truths and started re-connecting with Christ consciousness. I began healing my deeper wounds and started understanding the nature of Divine laws. I began to recognize the Dark Queen playing through me and I saw how I was derailing women and leading them further away from their soul. After lifting my business off the ground, I publicly revealed my misalignments and in one day, I walked away from everything I had spent years creating. I took another big step forward and began another deep healing journey.
Padma Aon Prakasha ( "The New Predator") was present and played an integral role in my life during this time of realignment. Shortly after we were intimate together, my spiritual identity was tempted by him and I became hooked into another deception that kept me from healing my deeper wounds. I did not listen to the red flags that were going off, but instead pursued relating with him sexually. Soon my Jezebel spirit began manipulating him as well. His power, fame and intelligence made me feel exalted. In his presence, I became someone special and I offered myself sexually to receive spiritual advancements. He told me everything my father never did and I still yearned to be loved, seen and appreciated. Even though I knew something wasn’t quite aligned, I continued to offer myself to him. I believed he held the key to my awakening and I wanted to rise up as his Queen. I was thirsty for power and he told me he would take care of me and help me rise on my path of evolution. I was looking out for my own selfish ambitions and I did not wish to listen to the red flags going off within me. I was using him for my own spiritual advantage. I knew I couldn't uphold myself to his needs and desires intellectually, but I knew that I could fulfill him sexually. This is how I was able to unconsciously control him.
I did anything I could to not be exiled from his embrace. He made me feel better about myself, offered me Divine wisdom and helped me see more of who I truly was. I did not want to be cast away from this, so I remained silent and suppressed myself. I kept my truth swept under the rug. I turned against my sisters in his honor. When he belittled them or denigrated them, I judged them beside him. My pride fed off their shortcomings and it made me feel superior. It made me feel like I was his innocent and pure woman. I did not speak up when I knew he was out of alignment. Instead, I played small as I was desperate to remain good in his image. Being seen as someone special outweighed all the inner nudges. I suffocated the voice inside my soul that told me I should walk the other way. I hid in the shadows of my “False King” and empowered and enabled his abuse. I was completely torn between his abuse and false love but I was receiving so much from our time together that I continuously gave my power away.
Once the rose- coloured glasses fell off, I began to see more of his true self and began another deep healing journey toward healing the wounds that attracted us together. I began looking into the black mirror and faced my own reflections.
Through my work, I have been harmonized by Source Love and my spirit is being corrected. I’ve seen clearly this occult force that has slithered through the feminine consciousness and I am deeply grateful for the grace that has allowed me to further the transmutation of the rage she wields. I have danced with this Dark Queen for lifetimes and I've allowed her anger and wounding to act out, creating harm for myself and others.
Now, I am choosing differently.
I understand that we all have an opportunity to break free of the terror that is fueling this dark spirit. The pain and resentment she latches onto within us needs to be felt. Through this, we can allow our pure emotional energy to move through our bodies in a healthy way again.
We now have a choice to surrender to the expression of the dark feminine and no longer suppress her. It is time now to call her forth from the shadows and come face to face with the ways we have been trapped inside her cunning and devious setups.
Collectively, we can break free from her snake-like sorcery.
The flames of purity are burning for us and we can all receive the redemption, peace and forgiveness that is necessary to move beyond her seductive spell.
I pray with all the sincerity of my heart that others can come forward and begin to own the subtle ways this Dark Queen has lashed out and taken control of their lives too. That we can all look deeper into ourselves and see how her spirit has played through us and toward us.
I pray that the women who are out of alignment and gaining power from marketing the "Rise of the Feminine", Sophia, Magdalene, Womb, Priestess codes, etc. can come clean with the ways they have put on a facade and hidden from their own unconscious ego and narcissistic agendas. I pray that through my own exposure that women will wake up to see how they have been misusing their power in similar ways to gain attention. That finally we can humble ourselves and be seen and witnessed. That we can own the Dark Feminine spirit within our individual psyche and allow the truth to purify and integrate her dark aspects back into love collectively. I pray that we can come together globally to hold each other accountable for the ways we have woven the false design of the feminine into the black web of the anti-christ.
It is time now for us to see her for who she really is and finally
shatter her false empire and take back our true feminine power.
“It is time to break the chains of ignorance and come out of hiding so God can find us”
- Lars Muhl
Characteristics of the inverted feminine
* Lacks self-love, responsibility- she manipulates to get what she wants
*Uses self-pity to manipulate
* Insecure and arrogant
* Wants to be placed on a pedestal and rule the world
* Demonizes, undermines and emasculates men away from their authority
* Plays mind games- idealizing and then discarding
* Withholds true wisdom of the Feminine
* Competes with her sisters within a power structure
* Provocative, seductive, domineering enchantress - stopping at nothing to get what she wants
* Serves today with the focus of gaining an upper hand tomorrow
* Uses high-level black magic (sex magic) to manifest through people
* Uses others as objects to gain influence, control and power
* Vanity, Pride and Narcissism - always taking selfies, idolizing herself
* Uses sexual temptation, lust and fantasy through fashion, makeup, media etc.
* Loves being at the center of attention and admired
* Seductive Stare
* Often a woman who is heavily influential within a spiritual community. A "Priestess" with deep convictions
* Projects illusions and a sense of power she does not have
* Very subtle, sneaky, sly, covert, deceitful, determined, controlling
* Psychic Vampirism, feeds off attention
* Low Self Esteem
* Attracted to Power, Intelligence
* Defensive and is offended if her authority is questioned
* Lack of humility
* Selfishness and Lack of empathy towards others
* Uses bitterness, resentments and past wounds to manipulate and weaken others
* Uses lies, distortions and glamorization to get what she wants
* Prays for her own agenda